I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she told me i tasted like america
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
