Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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