just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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