the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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