I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
