he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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