Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
