i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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