He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
