he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I touched a dick in church today
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
