We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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