on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
