My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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