After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize