So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
