I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
