Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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