Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
