how can u be prego again
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Randomize
