His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
