dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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