Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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