I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Watching her eat just hurts me
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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