i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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