oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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