i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
