Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
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I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
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That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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