you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize