I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
where am i from again
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
