How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
