so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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