At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
