i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup