Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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