so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.