All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in