Little spoons don't ask big questions
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
