I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize