ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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