OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
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i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
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I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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