theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
