i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize