Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's blow job season.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
