I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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