i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
