My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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