are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hippo gnu deer
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
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