you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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