your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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