Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
