Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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