Quick, to the slutcave!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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