I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize