I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
