You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
