ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
