Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Don't make out with my wife yet
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
