Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
