We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
