Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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