Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
