I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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