There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
