The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
