I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
