Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
