Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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