yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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